The SEC announced Friday that the conference generated revenues of $309.6 million that will be distributed to its member schools. That’s approximately $20.9 million per school according to the SEC’s official Twitter account.
#SEC 2013-14 revenue distribution just announced – $309.6 million total, Approximately $20.9 million per school.
This is a record for the “Power 5” conferences and in short, it’s a ton of money. So this got me thinking, what could all the SEC schools potentially do with their cut of this cash pie? Here are some possible scenarios:
-Alabama: Alabama will open up a tattoo parlor inside Bryant-Denny Stadium dedicated solely to Tide-themed tattoos. Want a “#ROLLTIDE” trampstamp? Done. Need “15 AND COUNTING” written across your chest? Easy. They can even permanently etch Nick Saban’s face right onto your thigh.
-Arkansas: Arkansas will have to use the money to feed Hogzilla, uhh, I mean Bret Bielema for another year.
-Auburn: Auburn will use their money to complete an elaborate monument dedicated to the Toomer’s Corner trees. At the following Iron Bowl, Harvey Updyke will overhear an Auburn fan make a joke about Nick Saban’s height and will subsequently go into a rage, drive to Auburn and burn the monument to the ground.
-Georgia: Mark Richt will lose control of the money and it will subsequently be dismissed from the program for violating team rules.
-Kentucky: Kentucky will use the money to pay their basketball players. Duh.
-Florida: Florida will fund a “Fan Appreciation Day” at a 2014 home game where the first 30,000 fans to attend the game receive a free pair of jorts and a cutoff t-shirt.
-LSU: Les Miles will pay a New Orleans gypsy to teach him voodoo so he can put a curse on Nick Saban and Alabama’s football team. He’ll then shamelessly tell the media he’s done so in a post-game press conference.
-Missouri: Missouri will buy billboards around every Big 12 school that say “MISSOURI: WE’RE IN THE SEC, BITCHEZ”
-Mississippi State: Mississippi State will build a 30 foot high cowbell in the middle of campus that has “GO TO HELL OLE MISS” written on the side. It will be rung every time State wins at anything.
-Ole Miss: Ole Miss will blow all of the money on booze and barbecue for a tailgate at the Grove.
-South Carolina: Steve Spurrier will use all the money on Coors Light, visors, and rounds of golf. But absolutely no shirts.
-Tennessee: Tennessee will have to use the money to continue paying severance to the 141 different head coaches they’ve fired in the last 5 years.
-Texas A&M: Texas A&M will continue to add expansions to Kyle Field until it has a capacity of 250,000 people. Just so the middle finger they’re thowing in Texas’ face is even larger.
-Vanderbilt: Vanderbilt will invest the money in established long term stocks, municipal bonds, and mutual funds with low risk profiles.
UPDATE: The lawsuit was in fact a hoax perpetrated by a man named Jonathan Lee Riches who in the past has also sued President Bush, The Pope, and Bill Gates. Seriously.
ORIGINAL POST:
This morning it was discovered that a woman named Samantha Schacher filed a lawsuit at the Florida district court against Johnny Manziel accusing him of sexual harrassment and demanding $25 million in punitive damages for causing her psychological distress. It looks to be completely fake because the address posted for the woman is for CNN’s corporate headquarters in Atlanta and Samantha Schacher is the name of a woman who hosts a TV show on HLN (a CNN affiliate). Since the news broke, Schacher herself along with Manziel’s agent have come out and vehemently denied the validity of the lawsuit. Nonetheless, the accusations against Johnny Football are lengthy and absolutely hilarious. You can take a look at the official document here.
Here’s my quick analysis of everything the Browns’ new quarterback has been accused of:
-Manziel sent the woman a picture with a hot dog bun around his penis: As far as nude pictures go, I feel like this might not be that weird. I’ve never sent a nude picture to a woman but I assume the hot-dog-bun-on-the-penis move is a staple in the nude picture community. It just makes sense.
-Manziel wanted to have a threesome with television talk show host Dr. Drew: That’s a pretty odd request and I’ve never seen Dr. Drew but if he’s anything like the doctors I’ve gone to in my life, that’s gonna be a pretty dull threesome.
-Manziel sent the woman a picture of his penis next to a ruler, it was 4.5 inches long and he said if he got drafted onto an NFL team he would get a penis enlargement and that he could be her “Long John Silvers”: I don’t care nor will I ever care how well-endowed Johnny Manziel is and I don’t know why anyone would compare their genitals to a crappy seafood restaurant. Again much like the hot dog bun incident, I feel like the penis-next-to-the-ruler is a common occurence with people who are fond of texting penile pictures. Also, I think it’s a given that Johnny needs to turn this into a sweet endorsement deal with Long John Silvers.
-Manziel asked the woman to strip with Lebron James watching: Don’t bring Bron Bron into this. He’s a happily married man with kids according to the commercial about that stupid cell phone app he has.
-Manziel received a nude picture of Jadaveon Clowney and then forwarded it to the woman and asked if she could handle “that monster”: Everything about this one is ridiculous. Why would Clowney send Johnny a nudie pic and why would Johnny automatically think “oh I gotta send this to that girl I’ve been constantly harassing”? This is where I initially began to think this lawsuit might be fake.
-The woman said she has nightmares about Manziel and he needs “sex therapy”: If it makes her feel any better, Nick Saban has nightmares about Johnny Manziel too. Also, Sex Therapy by Robin Thicke is a good album but I don’t see how that’s relevant.
-Manziel refers to his penis as his “Vienna Sausage”: This one is probably true.
-Manziel cheated on his exams at Texas A&M: Eh, this one is probably true too.
So there you have it, folks. A fake lawsuit by a crazy person who is apparently not a big fan of Johnny Manziel. Do with that what you will.
College football is less than 100 days away and if you’re as excited as I am, you just want to see football in any form. To tide you over until August 28th I’ve compiled a review of the top ten moments of the 2013 SEC football season. Hopefully this will help with the copious football-withdrawals of the off season. Here we go:
10. Ole Miss-Vanderbilt crazy ending: In the opening SEC football game of the 2013 season Ole Miss went up against Vanderbilt in Nashville and boy, it was a goodun’. After being up 10-0 through the 1st quarter, Ole Miss gave up 21 points in the 2nd quarter to go into halftime down by 11. In the 2nd half Ole Miss rallied and took the lead 32-28 with 9 minutes left in the game. 8 minutes later, Vanderbilt took back the lead 35-32 on a 34 yard touchdown pass with 1:30 left on the clock. (Note: I’m overlooking some incredible Jordan Matthews heroics that led to this touchdown but you can look that up for yourself if you want to see it)
(Frederick Breedon/Getty Images North America)
Not to be outdone, Ole Miss RB Jeff Scott then ripped off a 75 yard touchdown run with 1:07 left to give Ole Miss the lead once again at 39-35. Vanderbilt’s Austyn Carta-Samuels then threw an interception with 0:26 remaining to give Ole Miss the victory in a berserk season opener. But honestly, what do you expect from the SEC? Watch the highlights here.
9. Georgia downs Tennessee in OT: Seemingly every game Georgia played in 2013 was a nail-biter, their night in Knoxville was no exception. The Dawgs came into the contest ranked 6th in the nation and built a 17-3 lead by halftime. In true Mark Richt fashion, Georgia systematically gave away their lead in the 2nd half. Tennessee returned a blocked punt for a touchdown and freshman Marquez North had a miraculous catch (his first of 2 on this list) that produced one of the best sports pictures of the year:
(Jim Brown/USA Today Sports)
Eventually Georgia relinquished their lead 31-24 with 1:54 left in the 4th quarter. Aaron Murray then led the Bulldogs on a heroic last-second drive down the field and threw a touchdown pass to tie the game 31-31 with 0:05 remaining in regulation. We then went to overtime and in true Tennessee fashion the Vols appeared to have scored a touchdown on their opening drive but the replay showed that the Tennessee receiver had actually fumbled the ball through the endzone and Georgia then gained possession. The Dawgs subsequently made a field goal to win and Mark Richt and the Bulldogs stole a game in Neyland stadium. Watch the highlights here.
8. Tennessee beats South Carolina with a walk-off field goal: If the Gamecocks had beaten the Vols they would have played Auburn in the SEC championship game with a chance to play in the national championship game. But this just wasn’t meant to be. Tennessee led for the majority of the game but eventually fell behind 21-20 late in the 2nd half. Despite blowing the lead, the Vols finally broke a 3 year winless streak against ranked teams by marching down the field and making a chip-shot field goal as time expired. The Vols’ final drive also included another unbelievable catch by Marquez North that must be seen to be believed. Watch the highlights here.
7. Manziel to Evans 95 yard touchdown: More often than not, games simply don’t live up to the hype their given by the media. The Texas A&M-Alabama rematch was a shining exception. If you didn’t watch this game, like Jay-Z once said, I feel bad for you son. Johnny Manziel went all Johnny Manziel on Alabama and we were treated to one of the best football games of the year. The Aggies eventually lost the contest but it wasn’t without some incredible late-game heroics by the Ags. Down 42-28 with 8 minutes remaining in the 4th, Johnny Football lofted up a prayer to his favorite receiver and Mike Evans took the pass for a 95 yard touchdown. It pretty much sums up both player’s careers in one awesome play.
6. The SEC Championship Game: If you told me at the end of the 2012 season that Missouri and Auburn would be playing for the SEC championship the very next year I probably would have punched you face. Twice. Not only was it a completely improbable scenario but it was an incredible football game. While there was no last-second magic by Auburn and no single unbelievable play, there was 4 quarters of great football. Tre Mason ran for what seemed like a billion yards and Missouri stayed right with Auburn until War Eagle finally pulled away in the 4th quarter.
(Dave Martin/AP)
Between both teams there was 1,211 yards of total offense and 101 points scored. Frankly, it didn’t even look like SEC football but apparently that’s what happens when Alabama doesn’t play in the SEC championship. I loved every second of it. Watch the highlights here.
5. Mississippi State wins the Egg Bowl in OT: The Mississippi State-Ole Miss rivalry gets overshadowed all too often by the bright lights of the Iron Bowl. While it didn’t end in a game-winning kick-six, the 2013 Egg Bowl was an excellent football game. The Rebs and Bulldogs traded blows for three quarters. With MSU down 3 points in the 4th quarter Dak Prescott, who had been injured for the previous few weeks and had not played the entire game to that point, came in and led his team to a game-tying field goal in the final seconds. In overtime Prescott then led a gutsy drive that ended with Prescott himself running the ball in for a touchdown. On the ensuing drive Ole Miss QB, Bo Wallace, almost scrambled for a touchdown but the ball was stripped at the goal line and an MSU defender recovered giving Mississippi State the victory. That final play also produced a craze among MSU fans called “Wallacing” and it was hilarious.
4. Johnny Manziel sticks it to Duke in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl: Okay, this is not an actual all-SEC match-up but it involves an SEC team and this game was totally awesome. The game began with Texas A&M getting absolutely thrashed in the first half. Manziel and his offense weren’t playing well and Duke literally scored on every drive of the first two quarters. With 10 minutes left in the 3rd quarter TAMU faced their biggest deficit at 38-17. Then the sleeping giant awoke and Johnny Football started running roughshod all over the football field.
Suddenly the Aggies only trailed 41-38 with 12:48 left in the 4th quarter. In a totally ironic twist, it was actually Texas A&M’s defense that won this game. After being nothing short of a total embarrassment for most of the season, the Aggies defense had a pick-six with 3:33 remaining to give TAMU the lead. And when the Dukies got the ball back, the Aggies snagged another interception to seal the game. It was a truly fitting end to Johnny Manziel’s college career and an incredibly entertaining game to boot. Watch the highlights here.
3. Missouri hits the left upright against South Carolina: 2013 was not a good year for kickers in the SEC. A perfect season was on the line when Missouri lined up an ill-fated 24 yard field goal to send its game against South Carolina into triple OT. Andrew Baggett doinked the ball off the left upright and gave the Gamecocks the victory. Even though the loss ended up not meaning much in the long-run it was a crushing defeat for the Tigers at the time.
Connor Shaw and South Carolina had come roaring back from 17 points down in the 4th quarter to send the game into OT. Missouri then proceeded to grab defeat from the jaws of victory in 2 overtimes. It was an instant classic for the Gamecocks but Missouri got the last laugh after going undefeated for the remainder of the regular season and earning a spot in the SEC championship game (also reference moment #8). Watch the highlights here.
2. A MIRACLE IN JORDAN-HARE!!!: Auburn was magic in 2013. Or miraculous, as it were. I don’t know what kind of deal Gus Malzahn struck with the college football gods but it worked. Georgia had done what was seemingly impossible in this game and came back from 20 points down in the 4th quarter. With 1:49 left in the game Georgia took a 1 point lead 38-37 off an Aaron Murray rushing touchdown. It would have been one of the defining moments of Murray’s career… and in a way it still was but not in a good way. Auburn took the ball and subsequently found themselves with a 4th and 18 with 30 seconds to go in the game. Most other teams would lose in this scenario, but not Auburn. Nick Marshall threw up a prayer that fell straight into the hands of two Georgia players. The game should have ended here with a Georgia victory but with the luck of ten million four leaf clovers the football bounced off the hands of those unfortunate Bulldog defenders and landed right in the hands of Auburn receiver Ricardo L0uis who all but walked into the end zone for the game winning touchdown. Absolutely. Ridiculous.
1. The Kick-Six: AUBURN’S GONNA WIN THE FOOTBALL GAME!!! …Gah, I got chills just typing that… The 2013 Iron Bowl was everything it was hyped-up to be and more. It was a back and fourth game that was as equally exciting as it was compelling. To put it simply, it was one of the best college football games I’ve ever witnessed with my own eyes. The game ended with the ultimate blunder of Nick Saban’s coaching career, when he fought hard to have 1 second put back on the clock at the end of regulation so his kicker could attempt to end the game with a 57 yard field goal. Then this happened:
The NFL Draft was good to the SEC once again and the greatest conference in college football asserted it’s dominance like always. Let’s take a walk though some notable final stats:
-Easily my favorite stat from the draft is the fact that the Texas Longhorns went without a draft pick for the first time since 1937. It was a fitting end to Mack Brown’s tenure with the Longhorns and it made me happy no matter what happened in the rest of the draft.
It was a valiant effort by the ACC but just like MC Hammer, you can’t touch this. The SEC had the most picks in the draft for the eighth straight year. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh, LSU and Alabama had the most picks in the draft, that’s surprising except not really. Kudos to other conferences here for the fact that LSU and Bama are the only two SEC schools in the top ten. No other SEC school had more than 4 players taken.
-Georgia’s Aaron Murray and Alabama’s AJ McCarron were taken as the 23rd and 24th picks in the 5th round by the Chiefs and Bengals, respectively. Everybody made a big deal out of the fact that these guys went so late but really it doesn’t matter. Neither of them will even play next year without some injuries to other players. LSU’s Zach Mettenberger fell to the Titans in the 6th round and could actually play because Jake Locker gets hurt constantly.
-Missouri’s Michael Sam was taken by the Rams as the 34th pick in the 7th round and became the first openly gay player to be drafted onto an NFL roster. It’s a historic pick for obvious reasons but in reality it’s one of the worst places Sam could have been taken. The Rams are set on the defensive line and it’s unlikely Sam will see much playing time without some serious hard work and development.
-61 of 98 players that left school early as underclassmen were drafted. Though, some SEC names from that list that were predicted to come off the board went undrafted such as Tennessee OT Tiny Richardson and South Carolina CB Vic Hampton.
-Alabama became the first school ever to have multiple players drafted in the first round for five straight years
-There were 36 cornerbacks taken in the draft, 33 wide receivers, 19 running backs, and 14 quarterbacks.
-And one more time for posterity: Texas had zero players drafted. LOL
Much like a Les Miles press conference, the first round of the NFL Draft was a little crazy, definitely exciting, and completely unpredictable. Johnny Manziel didn’t get picked for what felt like an eternity, Louisville had more first round picks than Alabama, and the Big Ten sucked, but there’s really nothing surprising about that. Since everybody has their opinion of whether or not NFL teams made the right decision, I thought I’d add my mostly uninformed two-cents to the NFL Draft carousel:
1. Houston Texans – Jadaveon Clowney (DE, South Carolina): A. While it probably would have been a good move for the Texans to pick up a quaterback considering the guy they have led the league in pick-sixes last year, Jadaveon Clowney is a great choice. He’s monstrous and quick and can absolutely crush people with his tackling ability. This video is pretty much all you need to see to know Clowney is a good pick:
2. St. Louis Rams – Greg Robinson (OT, Auburn): B. Greg Robinson is a talented offensive tackle out of the SEC but choosing an offensive tackle is easily the most boring choice you could make so the Rams get a B.
3. Jacksonville Jaguars – Blake Bortles (QB, UCF): B. I watched Bortles play a good amount this season and he almost led UCF to a win over South Carolina and did lead his team to an AAC championship and a convincing win in a BCS bowl game. The guy is really talented and he’s from the state of Florida. Good choice.
4. Buffalo Bills – Sammy Watkins (WR, Clemson): A. I’m not a big fan of saying nice things about the ACC but Sammy Watkins is a killer. He absolutely torched Georgia in Clemson’s season opener and had a bunch of incredible games in his two years at the school that wishes it was South Carolina.
5. Oakland Raiders – Khalil Mack (OLB, Buffalo): B. Do you think I’ve ever watched Buffalo play football? Hell no. But from the clips they played on those draft coverage shows he looks like a decent player. I just feel bad for anyone who has to go float into obscurity with the Raiders.
6. Atlanta Falcons – Jake Matthews (OT, Texas A&M): A. Jake Matthews is an excellent player and he’s from the SEC but as I said before, there is no offensive tackle you could choose that I would be excited about. Nice choice by the Falcons, though.
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Mike Evans (WR, Texas A&M): A. Mike Evans is a 6’5″, 231 pound wide receiver. As far as I can tell, the guy is basically Megatron 2.0. While he was playing with Johnny Manziel, it seemed like as long as Johnny put the football within 25 feet of Mike he could figure out a way to come down with the ball. Not to mention, he’s also lightening fast. Case in point:
8. Cleveland Browns – Justin Gilbert (CB, Oklahoma St.): F. Even Justin Gilbert was like “uhh, guys, you know you could have taken Johnny Manziel, right?” I mean, the Browns traded picks for a cornerback… A CORNERBACK. It was the most Browns thing ever.
9. Minnesota Vikings – Anthony Barr (OLB, UCLA): B. Just like Khalil Mack, I never really watched a UCLA football game this year but he got taken ninth overall so he’s gotta be pretty good.
10. Detroit Lions – Eric Ebron (TE, North Carolina): A. The only thing that would really help Matthew Stafford and the Lions is getting rid of Matthew Stafford and moving out of Detroit. I assume that’s not an option and the Lions are pretty set on defense and they definitely don’t need a wide receiver with Megatron on the roster, so Ebron seems like a smart choice.
11. Tennessee Titans – Taylor Lewan (OT, Michigan): D. ENOUGH WITH THE OFFENSIVE TACKLES. Especially from the Titans. Tennessee has taken an offensive tackle as their first pick in two straight drafts. Also, the Titans could use a new quarterback because Jake Locker gets injured in pretty much every game he plays in. Johnny Manziel, Derek Carr, and Teddy Bridgewater were all available and they took an offensive lineman. Terrible.
12. New York Giants – Odell Beckham (WR, LSU): A. The Giants have a quarterback who’s the brother of the best quarterback in the game so I think a wide receiver is a smart pick. Odell Beckham is an incredible athlete and made tons of ridiculous plays for LSU. I like it.
13. St. Louis Rams – Aaron Donald (DT, Pittsburgh): C. When it comes to making boring draft picks that I don’t care about, the Rams are like Richard Sherman, the best in the game. I’m not sure who this guy is but let’s be honest, if a guy plays defense in the ACC, did he really play at all?
14. Chicago Bears – Kyle Fuller (CB, Viginia Tech): B. He had an interception against Alabama once, so there’s that.
15. Pittsburgh Steelers – Ryan Shazier (OLB, Ohio State): C. This guy plays defense in the Big Ten so there’s a 90% chance he’s going to be terrible.
16. Dallas Cowboys – Zack Martin (OT, Notre Dame): F. DAMN IT, JERRY. You could have had Johnny Manziel. You could have sold tons of season tickets and had a better quarterback than Tony Throwsinterceptionsintheplayoffs. You could have truly made the Cowboys the crazy sideshow of the NFL offseason. BUT NO. You took an offensive lineman from Notre Dame when you actually needed players on defense… Honestly, it was really just classic Jerry Jones.
17. Baltimore Ravens – C.J. Mosley (ILB, Alabama): A. The Ravens know how to pick ’em. Seriously, when you’re choosing defensive players to draft, why would you not choose guys from the SEC, more specifically, from Alabama? It just makes sense.
18. New York Jets – Calvin Pryor (FS, Louisville): B. He had an interception against Blake Bortles once, so there’s that.
19. Miami Dolphins – Ja’Waun James (OT, Tennessee): B. Offensive lineman, don’t care. Although, he is from the SEC so they get a B.
20. New Orleans Saints – Brandin Cooks (WR, Oregon St.): B. He’s a wide receiver from the Pac-12, that’s pretty much all I know.
21. Green Bay Packers – Ha Ha Clinton Dix (FS, Alabama): A. As I said earlier, defensive players from Alabama are always a solid choice.
22. Cleveland Browns – Johnny Manziel (QB, Texas A&M): F. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Cleveland is the place where football talent goes to die. So many teams had the chance to pick up Johnny Manziel and he ended up in Cleveland. The only way this could be worse is if a homeless man told Jimmy Haslam to draft Manziel and that’s why he took him… OH YEAH, that happened. We’ll remember you forever Johnny Football. RIP.
23. Kansas City Chiefs – Dee Ford (DE, Auburn): A. SEC. Defense. Good.
24. Cincinnati Bengals – Darqueze Dennard (CB, Michigan State): B. While Darqueze Dennard definitely gets my pick for coolest name so far in the draft, he plays defense in the Big Ten and that does not bode well. I do have to say, he was great in MSU’s win against Ohio State. And the fact that he contributed to this picture happening makes him okay in my eyes:
25. San Diego Chargers – Jason Verrett (CB, TCU): C. Who is this?
26. Philadelphia Eagles – Marcus Smith (DE, Louisville): C. Never heard of this guy either.
27. Arizona Cardinals – Deone Bucannon (SS, Washington St.): C. He played against Auburn once, so there’s that.
28. Carolina Panthers – Kelvin Benjamin (Florida St.): A. Kelvin Benjamin is really good. Auburn knows what I’m talking about:
Sorry about that, Auburn fans… Benjamin will be a nice addition for Cam Newton and the Panthers. Although, anyone at all would have been nice addition to the Panthers receiver corps because they literally had no one.
29. New England Patriots – Dominique Easley (DT, Florida): B. Pretty much every player on the Patriots defense is from the SEC and that’s why their defense is good. If I’m being really honest, Easley wasn’t all that impressive this year but you just can’t go wrong with the SEC.
30. San Francisco 49ers – Jimmie Ward (SS, Northern Illinois): C. Yeah, I don’t know who this is and I don’t care but I’m sure he’ll be pretty good cause that’s just how Jim Harbaugh rolls.
31. Denver Broncos – Bradley Roby (CB, Ohio St.): I’ve seen people say that Bradley Roby is overrated and considering he’s a defensive player in the Big Ten, I’m sure that’s true. But with Peyton Manning at quarterback does this really matter?
32. Minnesota Vikings – Teddy Bridgewater (Louisville): A. Dang it. I love Teddy Bridgewater. If you haven’t seen an interview with the kid, go look one up now and you’ll feel the same. I also love this pick because Christian Ponder sucks and Adrien Peterson deserves a better quarterback. I heard Mel Kiper say Bridgewater will probably sit on the bench most of next year but if I had to guess, I’d say he’s starting by week 2. Seriously, Christian Ponder is terrible.
If the 2013 SEC football season didn’t entertain you then I have nothing to offer, because you must be dead inside. Alabama lost two consecutive games, newcomer Missouri played in the SEC championship, Auburn had, quite literally, a miraculous season and the SEC didn’t claim a national title for the first time in seven years. After everything that transpired, I can comfortably say that it would take Jesus Christ, himself, coming down to play for Alabama to truly surprise me in 2014.
With that said, I have predicted the outcome of every SEC football team’s 2014 season. I am not a scientist and there was no magic formula, just stats and lots of speculation. For all I know, Kentucky could run the table this year and win the National Championship, although, considering hell has yet to freeze over, I doubt that will happen. But you never know. The following is simply my best guess as to how the 2014 SEC season will play out. If you disagree with my choices, as the great Justin Timberlake once said, cry me a river.
Teams are listed in the order that I predict they will finish in their division (last to first).
Let’s get into it:
The East
7. Vanderbilt (4-8): Oh, Vanderbilt. Bless your heart… It’s been a rough few months for Commodore fans. James Franklin, the ‘Dores heralded former head coach, jumped ship for Penn State, took a whole group of recruits with him, and left Vanderbilt’s football program destitute and shivering out in the cold right before National Signing Day. Former Stanford assistant coach, Derek Mason, has taken the wheel in Nashville and so far seems to be a quality hire. Mason salvaged a decent recruiting class and has kept upbeat about the state of the program but no matter how much positivity he or all of Vanderbilt’s fans can muster up, 2014 is not going to be good to the ‘Dores.
Schedule:
Simply put, the Commodores got screwed by James Franklin and should reevaluate a year from now when the grass is a little greener.
6. Kentucky (5-7): The Wildcats are on an upswing. 2014 provided arguably the greatest recruiting class in the history of Kentucky football and somehow Mark Stoops has revitalized and reinvigorated the Cats’ fan base despite a less-than-stellar campaign in 2013. 2014 will be a better year in Lexington, no doubt, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, this is still SEC football and Kentucky is still, well, Kentucky. Until the 2014 recruiting class has time to grow, the Wildcats will stay near the bottom of the SEC East.
Schedule:
Kentucky Schedule Stiff competition and a young team will force Kentucky into a losing season yet again but they will vanquish their in-state archenemy, Louisville.
5. Florida (5-7): If you have a worse record in three years than Ron Zook, chances are you might not be a great coach, and Will Muschamp has done just that. Muschamp is 22-16 overall and 13-11 in the SEC while Zook, who was fired after his third year, went 23-14 overall and 16-8 in the SEC. Florida fans might defend Muschamp and say: “But, he was 11-2 and went the Sugar Bowl in 2012!” Well, he also went to that Sugar Bowl and got pistol-whipped by a totally inferior Louisville team and then followed it up with the worst season in the history of Florida’s football program. And, yes, I know there were a lot of injuries last season and I know they fired Brent Pease and got a new offensive coordinator and it’s true, that could make all the difference for the Gators. To their credit, Florida will return Jeff Driskell at quarterback after he was injured for the majority of last season. Quinton Dunbar gives talent at the receiver position, Kelvin Taylor should be a quality player in the backfield, and the Gators defense should be tough, as expected. But the bottom line remains that for the Gators to succeed they must completely reinvent themselves on offense and I don’t know that they can do that with Will Muschamp as their head coach. Full disclaimer: I realize I could be completely wrong here, and I will take the chastising I deserve when that time comes, but as I said earlier, Justin Timberlake.
Schedule:
Florida will limp through a losing season and will be looking for a new coach by December.
4. Tennessee (7-5): I like to refer to Tennessee football as the Rex Grossman of the SEC because they’re still in the league but all of their notoriety comes from things that happened a decade ago. Despite this, it looks as though this program may be quickly rising from the cellar they’ve been dwelling in the past few years. With a consensus top five recruiting class for 2014 and a coach who did in more in one year than Derek Dooley could do in three, Tennessee may be a force to be reckoned with in the near future. As for 2014, to say their schedule is daunting is an understatement and they have a young team with limited leadership to boot. All five of UT’s starting offensive linemen left for the NFL and the Vols have three potential quarterback options, none of which have been terribly impressive to date. Although, UT should have an improved defensive attack along with a set of uber-talented freshman and sophomore receivers which should lead to at least a winning record in 2014.
Schedule:
Tennessee has a winning record and goes bowling for the first time in three years, but they will have to win a couple of games they probably shouldn’t and avoid losing games they should probably win.
3. South Carolina (8-4): No more Jadaveon Clowney. No More Connor Shaw. Where will the Gamecocks go from here? South Carolina still has a legend for a head coach in Steve Spurrier, a senior quarterback in Dylan Thompson, and one of the best running backs in the country in Mike Davis but this team will not be at the same level as it has been recently. Though, a top twenty-five recruiting class, as well as a talented defense should help the Gamecocks remain in the top half of the SEC East.
Schedule:
South Carolina will have another solid year and continue their annual whipping of Clemson.
2. Missouri (9-3): Missouri is an interesting case. Quarterback James Franklin and running back Henry Josey have graduated, but Maty Mauk steps in at the quarterback position after an impressive 2013 season that saw him more than fill the large shoes of an injured James Franklin. Along with Mauk the Tigers return an excellent set skill-position players. Mizzou did lose some key defensive players such as SEC defensive player of the year, Michael Sam and linebacker Kony Ealy, but the defensive unit should still be solid. The recent dismissal of wideout Dorial Green-Beckham could also hurt the Tigers’ attack but Mauk is talented and quick on his feet and if a team is worth its weight, losing one receiver will not break them.
Schedule:
Missouri’s offense should carry them to another impressive season.
1. Georgia (11-1): Despite the constant rumors that Mark Richt has lost contol of his Bulldog team, Georgia will have lots of talent and a weak schedule in 2014, which should result in a successful season. Aaron Murray is finally gone but his replacement, Hutson Mason, seems to be more than adequate and already has on-the-field experience as a result of Murray’s season ending knee injury last year. Mason is not only a quality quarterback but his receiving corps is top-notch. Malcolm Mitchell, Justin Scott-Wesley, and Chris Conley all return at the wideout position. And arguably the best running back in the country, Todd Gurley, will be lining up for the Bulldogs in the backfield. Georgia must stay healthy after an injury-plagued 2013 season and new defensive coordinator, Jeremy Pruitt, will have to bolster the Dawgs lackluster defense if Georgia wants to win the SEC East. UGA will be tested from the start, but if they can begin 2-0, I think the Bulldogs will have another opportunity to lose to Alabama in the SEC championship game.
Schedule:
A favorable schedule and tons of returning talent will make 2014 a special year for the Bulldogs.
The West
7. Arkansas: (3-9) Bret Bielema and the Razorbacks are in for another doozy of a season, and by doozy I mean disappointment. Arkansas won’t be awful, per se, but the SEC West is just a juggernaut of a conference division to play in. On top of their stout SEC West schedule, the Hogs have to travel to Lubbock, TX to face Cliff Kingsbury’s rising Red Raiders. Arkansas is yet to find its starting quarterback and there are also position battles taking place at wide receiver and tight end. Arkansas had a decent recruiting class for 2014 and improvements will be expected by next year but a tough schedule and uncertainty on the offensive side of the ball will bog down the Hogs.
Schedule:
Arkansas won’t win an SEC game for the second straight year but they’re moving in the right direction.
6. Texas A&M: (6-6) RIP Johnny Football… Okay fine, Johnny Manziel is not dead but the era of Johnny Football is over for the Aggies and I’m sad about it. Manziel was the most exciting player in college football and even if you weren’t rooting for A&M, they were entertaining to watch. Now that’s over. The Aggies have a quarterback battle on their hands and the guy who was in the lead for the starting job, Kenny Hill, recently got a DUI and is suspended indefinitely. Primary wideout, Mike Evans, is also gone. And to say Texas A&M’s defense was bad last year is an insult to the word “bad”. The only place the defense can go is up but that won’t make up for the invaluable losses on the offensive side of the ball. Kevin Sumlin has been able to put together two straight stellar recruiting classes and the impact of those acquisitions should start to show in the coming season. In 2014, A&M will make it to a bowl game but without Johnny Manziel under center, the Aggies just won’t be the same.
Schedule:
With the loss of Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M will lose its elite status in the SEC but will still make it back to a bowl game.
5. Ole Miss: (8-4) Hugh Freeze is a great coach and has the Rebels moving quickly in the right direction. A large chunk of last year’s roster will be returning and should be bolstered by another quality recruiting class this year. Ole Miss will be a tough and more mature team in 2014. Though, as I said earlier, the SEC West is a monster. Senior Bo Wallace will lead the Rebels’ offensive attack and, pending some litigation involving a fight at a fraternity house, sophomore Robert Nkemdiche will anchor the defense. There will be serious talent on both sides of the ball but Ole Miss has a daunting schedule. Boise State is not an easy season-opening game and Tennessee will be coming to Vaught-Hemingway as a cross-divisional match-up for the Rebels. Ole Miss will continue to build on their previous success in 2014 but will finish right in the middle of the SEC West pack.
Schedule:
The Rebels will finish 8-4 but unfortunately that only gets you to fifth place in the SEC West.
4. Auburn: (9-3) Auburn head coach, Gus Malzahn, is a nothing short of a miracle worker. He took a team picked to finish near the bottom of the SEC West and turned them into a national championship contender. For 2014, the Tigers are back with tons of talent and a great recruiting class. Nick Marshall is under center and is flanked by plenty of talent at the skill positions. Running back Tre Mason left for the NFL in 2013 and won’t be easy to replace but seniors Cameron Artis-Payne and Corey Grant should be more than capable in the backfield. If anything keeps the Tigers from repeating as SEC champions, it will be their defense. Auburn lost key defensive players to graduation and the NFL, most importantly defensive tackle Dee Ford, although, they have adequate replacements like defensive tackle Carl Lawson. Auburn will be a serious contender in the West but they simply won’t be as lucky in the coming season. War Eagle will finish fourth.
Schedule:
Auburn will lose the magic they had in 2013 but will still have a quality season.
3. Mississippi State: (10-2) Here’s the surprise pick for 2014. Success for Dan Mullen has been a long time coming at Mississippi State and this year could be the time when the Bulldogs finally breakthrough to the upper echelon of the SEC. State’s offense will be led by quarterback Dak Prescott, who has received hype as a potential Heisman trophy candidate. The Bulldogs’ defense will be the real difference maker in 2014. All but three players return on defense and pass-rusher Chris Jones should be a force to be reckoned in his sophomore season. In addition to talent on both sides of the ball, State has a favorable schedule. It will be up to Dan Mullen to make all the pieces work together in 2014 but if he can solve the puzzle, Mississippi State has the potential to send a shockwave through the SEC. (I wrote an entire article about MSU breaking through in the 2014 season that can be read here)
Schedule:
Mississippi State will upset Auburn and be the surprise team in the SEC West.
2. LSU: (10-2) LSU is set for another good year under Les Miles. The Tigers lost quarterback Zach Mettenberger, who will most likely be replaced by Anthony Jennings. Jennings is talented and already played a few snaps in an SEC game after Mettenberger went down with a knee injury late last season. The biggest question mark for LSU will be how well they can move the ball after the loss of ultra-talented skill position players like wideout Odell Beckham Jr. and running back Jeremy Hill. The incoming freshman class includes players who will have to step in immediately and make an impact, such as overall number one recruit, running back Leonard Fournette. Defensively, the Tigers return plenty of quality players and will be solid, as usual. LSU also has a favorable schedule and should come out of the 2014 season near the top of the SEC West.
Schedule:
LSU will have another successful season but will still finish second to Alabama.
1. Alabama: (12-0) Only Alabama fans could be supremely disappointed that their team had a two-loss season. 2013 saw the Tide go 11-0 then drop its final two games that included an embarrassing loss to Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl and the now-infamous Iron Bowl kick-six. But Nick Saban is not a man to be trifled with. Despite the loss of beloved quarterback AJ McCarron, the Tide should have enough talent in the wings to make up for any drop-off from the loss of “The Game Manager”. Blake Sims and Florida State transfer Jacob Coker will battle for the starting spot under center and will be accompanied by the likes of Amari Cooper at wide receiver and TJ Yeldon at running back. Alabama’s defense is stacked, as usual. The Tide’s passing defense will be the only real question for Kirby Smart’s squad after the leader of the Tide’s secondary, Vinnie Sunseri, unexpectedly left for the NFL. Unless there are drastic lapses in defense like those that the Tide had in its last two games of 2013, Alabama will be in top form once again. Look for the Crimson Tide to run the table on their way to another SEC championship.
Schedule:
Alabama will top the SEC yet again and have another shot at a national championship.
The Southeasterner 